I have been praying for a career since December, asking God for direction and guidance with a deep desire to utilize my education, help support my family, and find a sense of fulfillment in my work. Like most of us know, He doesn't always come when you call Him but He's always on time. I have been able to do a lot of soul searching so far this year while staying at home, and I feel it has been very beneficial for my family and myself. However, I do find it quite interesting that I applied for an investigator position several months ago that fit exactly what I was looking for and Monday, the day after the Holy Spirit strongly put on my heart to tell Marques "my secret," I receive an email asking to set up an interview.
Yesterday my Dad calls me and asks me how Marques and I are doing, and if we have had any breakthroughs or revelations. He proceeds to tell me that he had a feeling Marques was going to humble himself and reveal some hidden things as well. Last night I had a very vivid dream and the only possible explanation was that Marques was harboring some secrets. This morning when I awoke to him getting ready for work I told him about what my Dad had said, as well as my dream. So, in turn, he came clean. It wasn't easy to hear what he was telling me, its never easy when you find out you've been betrayed and lied to. However, in the great scheme of things, taking God's majestic tapestry being woven in our lives into consideration, I knew it needed to happen. It was a sense of relief to know its all out, and all in the past.
Today we close one chapter and open another.
We are in prayer about many things we are in need of and I am eager to see what God does in the near future.
The moral of this story is that even the people you love and the people who love you will hurt you, we are all human. It is extremely dangerous to put all of your trust into humans. The ONLY one we can fully trust is God Himself. And God really wanted me to know that today.
As I laid in bed thinking about many things, particularly the topic at hand, the Holy Spirit told me to read Psalm 31. I had never read it before so was definitely curious to see what my message for the circumstance would be. As I turned in my Bible the first verse was: "In You, O Lord, I put my trust." Followed by:
Let me never be ashamed;
Deliver me in Your righteousness.
Bow down Your ear to me,
Deliver me speedily;
Be my rock of refuge,
A fortress of defense to save me.
For You are my rock and my fortress;
Therefore, for Your name's sake,
Lead me and guide.
Pull me out of the net which
they have secretly laid for me,
For You are my strength.
Into Your hand I commit my spirit;
You have redeemed me,
O Lord God of truth.
The rest of the chapter is awesome as well. Is it coincidence that I had just been thinking how I can only fully trust Him and desire to put 100% of my trust in Him, that I have been ashamed for what my husband and I have done (especially me), Marques and I have been praying for a speedy recovery and healing, asking Him to lead me and guide me (had actually just said that while praying before opening my Bible), and accepting and believing that He has truly redeemed us.
It all exemplifies how loving, merciful, and faithful God is. Its as if He is saying, "I hear your cries, I know what you're going through, I am here, put your strength in Me, I will deliver you and restore you."
Who knows how much further along Marques and I would be right now if we had of been this honest, diligent and obedient before. Pay close attention to what your spirt man is saying to you, don't ignore it or write it off because possibly what he is telling you to do is the key to the next breakthrough or blessing in your life!
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